After having two weddings, one in Gran Canaria, Spain and the other in Orlando, Florida, and a two-week honeymoon between Miami and Vegas, I returned to our Spanish flat and sunk into our leather sofa… where I stayed for a week.
I felt flush but without the fever. I was lethargic, achy, unfocused, unmotivated, heavy with a deep feeling of hopelessness and didn’t know what to do nor did I fully understand why I felt the way I did.
What? Not the romantic start of a lifelong commitment you expected? Neither did I.
It was in that moment that I realized that I had burnt myself out relentlessly seeking professional success, public recognition and proof of my worth via “another achievement.”
It was in that moment that I realized that I was not living my life with purpose and I didn’t have a clear vision of what was truly important to me. So it’s no surprise that I was constantly frustrated with my fiancé, now wife, and why no matter how much I worked, it never seemed good enough.
At that moment, I shouted to myself “I don’t want this [empty existence] anymore!”
So where did I go wrong?
This was coming from someone who had always excelled in academics, sports and social settings.
I played high school football, attended honors classes, graduated with a 4.0, and became a resident
assistant at the University of Central Florida.
I was the president of my fraternity, landed a job with the university’s Alumni Association right after
graduation, worked for a state senator, and I ran a community-wide charity event.
I was a member of the board of directors for a charity, I chaired several association positions,
I racked up countless volunteer hours, earned an MBA out of London, got hired to run the
sales on a small Spanish island (where I still live).
I opened my first business in a foreign country and created a
product from conception to launching it on Kickstarter.
All of this, and I still wasn’t fulfilled.
I felt completely lost.
I didn’t know exactly what was wrong, but I knew I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I committed myself to challenge my idea of being a “good husband”, earning “good money”, being in “good health” and living a “good enough” life. That meant getting really clear, and I mean crystal clear, on how I wanted to see myself in each area. I was relentless in taking every opportunity to be that man; even when the opportunity came in the form of a “punch in the face.”
After shedding a lifetime of default habits and allowing the elite version to explode out of me, I leveraged my professional experience, formal education and passion to guide people to live their best lives. Starting with myself. I have never been so confident in a romantic relationship or in the best physical health than right now.
I know how moving beyond the sole goal of seeking professional achievement and success has enhanced my personal life and driven me to live with purpose, and it’s my mission to witness every man to live a similar experience.
Their experience of living the life of an elite man!